Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Suck it, bitch

(subtext is just a picture of the Great Wall of China)

Phone Demeanor:
Almost felt attacked by the lady who answered the phone. Like, I don’t know if she’s been having a rough day or something, but don’t come at me with that shit. I’ve almost never heard someone so aggressively answer a phone. Other than that, pretty run-of-the-mill.

Waiting Game:
All I can say is: Holy Shit. Emphasis on the capital H and S. Clocking in at a hot 12 minutes flat, this is easily the  fastest delivery I have EVER had the pleasure of taking part in, and I know FOR A FACT these guys are at least 8 blocks away.  I had to run downstairs IN THE MIDDLE OF MY PHONE DELIVERY REVIEW to grab my shit from this bozo. SO fast. Jesus H. Christ.

Grand Great Wall has been knocking my Grand Great Dick (just a hyperbole. It’s super dinky) way back up into my torso all night. That shrimp eggroll was about as good as any other shrimp eggroll I’ve had, and maybe this is the beer talking, but this Beef in Curry Sauce is absolutely, and I mean almost gratuitously, CHOCK FULL O’ BEEF. I expected, at the very least, a very formidable amount of veggies, hence my ordering of the large. But good god was I wrong. I’ll just say this: anyone who WANTED a healthy amount of vegetable matter to go along with their protein intake today would have been severely disappointed. And this beef…bringing the heat. Spicy as all hell. Ok…just found goldmine of onions. An onionmine.

Overall: 8/10

Blown. Away.  These bitches really fucked up my radar. Had no idea they rocked so hard. They are a SOLID 8 blocks away from me and made it in record-fucking-breaking time. Food was bangin’/on point (and/or fleek). These bastards gently took my tits directly off of my body, and blew them away like dead leaves in the brisk autumn wind. Recommend. Wish I could give them a higher 8.