Tuesday, June 7, 2016

The ThunderGun Steak Sandwich

Hotdogs and burgers are staples at summer bbq's. Surefire crowd pleasers, no one is gonna be unhappy with wienies and burgs. But lets say you're holding down the grill at a bbq, and there is a lady present that you've got the mind to thundergun later. You don't want to make no run of the mill bbq grub. Every Joe Shro can do that. You want to knock her clam-keeper straight off. You want to make the ThunderGun Steak Sandwich. 


- Marinaded London Broil. Whatever marinade you usually use is fine, as long as their is a sugary element that can caramelize. Mine had olive oil, balsamic vinegar, rootbeer, and some other shit.
- 1 faguette
- white wine vinegar
- olive oil
- 1 big ass sweet onion
- 5-6 cloves of garlic
- crap ton of parsley
- 1 jalapeno
- chipotle powder (not pictured cuz it was a lot to remember
- Lotta butter
- Salt & pepper


Get as much of the parsley leafs off of the stems as you can, but a few bits of stem here and there won't really matter. Peel the skin off of the garlic. Take the stem off the jolly. You don't have to seed it like I did, but I had to pussify it because my mom was eating this and she's not that into spicy. You can leave it whole if you want, its all going into the food processor so it doesn't really matter. Measure out roughly 3/4 cup of olive oil and 1/3 cup of white wine vinegar.

Dump all that shit into the food processor, season heavily with salt & pep, and pulse it until it looks something like this:
Now fridgerate that junk

p.s - I'm back at home so I have access to sweet ass cooking equipment like a food processor.

p.p.s - This stays for a while if you keep it in the fridge in something sealed. I think its because of the vinegar? Whatever, I used it like 2 weeks after making this batch and it tasted fine and I didn't get sick so it must be true. Science rulez!

This is another pic!


Any steak sandwich that calls itself a steak sandwich but doesn't have onions is fucking trash. ALL steak sandwiches need onions. 

Slice up that big ass onion. Lop off a nice hunk'o'butter. Let it melt in a pan at medium-low heat. Toss in the sliced onions, chipotle powder, salt & pep. and then another lunker's worth of butter. Turn the heat down to low. Cover. Leave.


Come back like 10 minutes later. The butter will have melted. Give it a Pit Bull and Yin Yang Twins SHAKE and let it cook down some more.

Every 5-10 minutes come back and do the same, until the look something like this:


Time to fire up the grill. I personally prefer charcoal grills because I care how my food tastes, but if you don't thats cool. Get it up to at least 500.

 Plop the meat in the middle of the grill. Cover. Time on each side depends on thickness of the cut. Use google for that shit. Regardless, only flip it once. Thats all you need. The less you touch the meat while its grilling, the better. 

 While the steak is cooking, cut the faguette like so. Easy.

But we're trying to thundergun a broad, so we're gonna pump up the jam.

While the steak is cooking, put the butterflied bread face down on the grilling surface surrounding the meat. Leave it there for a minute, max 2 minutes, until they look like this:

So after you have left the meat on for whatever amount of time google told you, remove it from the heat, and LET IT SIT. Can't emphasize it enough. I know you're thinking about thundergunning that chick SUPER hard right about now, but you gotta cool your dick or else....
You'll end up with a giant bloody (both literally and in the  way British people say it) mess like I did. Yeah. Biff City.

But when you do slice it, slice it against the grain. For all the morons out there, that means slice it in the opposite direction than those little lines in the meat.

Also, try to slice it as thin as you can.

Spread some chimmi churri on the bottom roll, then some slices of steak, then the onions, then chimmi it a little more. 

I dare the lady you're trying to thundergun to not get revved up just looking at that thing. When she tries it? Well I hope your night moves are on standby because its not gonna take long. Thundergun strong, young man. Thundergun strong.