- 2 eggs
- 1 fagguette
- pepper. Freshly ground is preferable because that other shit is a tasteless waste
- parsley. Preferably fresh but I'm poor so I have the dried stuff
- rep pepper flakes
- mozzarella + parmesan cheese. Again, I'm poor so I have the shitty stuff. Get the good stuff
- tomato/marinara stuff. Make it yourself. Don't be low class. If you buy jarred sauce you probably put just ketchup on your hotdogs and I don't want you reading this so leave now.
- plain bread crumbs
- all purpose flour
- oil. Olive oil is ideal, but, I'm poor. Canola oil for Rory.
STEP 1: BEAT THAT MEAT
STEP 2: BREAD THEM BITCHES
One at a time, place the chicken boobs in the flour (cover both sides with a thin layer, just giving the eggwash something to cling to), dunk that shit in the eggwash (get every part of the chicken wet), then onto the bread crumb mixture (cover them thoroughly. Don't be a shy bitch about it). Have a plate to put them on when they're done. If your fingers aren't caked with the bread crumbs by the end of it, you did something very wrong and should give up cooking forever. They should look something like the picture on the right.
STEP 3: PAN FRY LIKE A REAL AMERICAN
Once it is hot enough, place however many chicken breasts you can fit in the pan, cover, then flip in about 2.5 - 3 minutes when the underside is a bonerific golden brown. Let the other side cook for about the same time, then remove from the pan to a pile of paper towels you have waiting next to you. Repeat for as many chicken tits as you have. They should look like those golden brown works of art on the right.
STEP 4: SAMMY UP
STEP 5: BANGARANG RUFIO
p.s Sorry for the unexpected boners.
Don't forget to clean your mess. People who don't clean up after themselves are on the same level as: open mouth chewers, shopping cart ditchers, and low tippers. Fuck those people. Don't be like them.